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your words that day hit me like a knife piercing through my heart,
my heart shattered into a million pieces that moment you told me those words...now i am devasted for the rest of my days...
I despise what you do to me, and how you rip my heart apart piece by piece.
Sitting there, you watch me bleed eternally ,and yet I keep coming back for more. I feel the pain at my very core.
Is it the nostalgia, loneliness or your embrace I crave? Like poison, you slowly kill me from the inside out little by little. Is this what a familar taste of poison is? I've cried countless tears in your name and sake for what seems like an eternity. Wallowing in Agony and self-pity I continue to call out for you. Why is it that I keep coming back for more?
Someone please help me to let it all go, and pick of the shattered pieces of my soul you left in your wake. Will I ever be saved?
I feel the pain, and I see you there. Longing for you kills me still, and I continue telling myself that you are no good for me. After all this time, I still cannot let it go, and move on as it silently kills me like a thief in the night. Craving your embrace, though I will never see you again except in my dreams and shattered memories of excruciating agony. Everytime I think of you, continues to pulse, even after all the scars you left on my soul. One day I pray to find solace. When will I be able to let it all go, and move on?
Loneliness means to withstand every hardship and tribulation that life throws your way.
Also meaning no one is there to help lift you up when fallen to the lowest point.
It means to never to feel eternal bliss or even share a simple laugh with someone you care for. I wish I could purge it all away, and numb the anguish of my soul. Being alone also means that your heart can never be broken to the point of being shattered before your very eyes. Still you haunt me after all this time with your visage and memories. When will it all go away?
The girl gazes at the beautiful, thin girls of the media longing to look like that.
she repeatly tells herself she's worthless and hideous. Feeling even worse, she decides she will do whatever is necessary to fit society's definition of "beautiful". She grows weaker day by day, and yet still sees herself outrageously overweight. As the days go by, her heartbeat and organ systems begin to shutdown from lack of nutrition. Still in the mirror she sees a monster and begins to purge herself of all this pain. One day, she finally looks how she wanted, when she's lying motionless on the floor.
Dear deviantART: Free The Author
In a world as colorful, diverse, unique and beautiful as it is today, I’ve learned through my 10 months on this website that many people enjoy expressing themselves in many different ways when it comes to art.
Whether it be through romance, nature, darkness, light or everything else there is to express with, it becomes even more interesting when I see the people express themselves with so many different mediums.
Myself? I enjoy expressing my artistic abilities through many mediums: Digital art, poetry, but most avidly, the xReader fandoms. Avengers, Sherlock, Free!, Shingeki no Kyojin and many, many others.
99% of my stories are romantic. I love to write romance, though I usually don’t take it much further than a little something like a sweet little kiss, the beginning of a new relationship, a baby being born, or occasionally, the odd sexual innuendo. Once, I tried writing a lemon. However it didn’t work out very well, and I decided to remove it for personal reasons.
My ConfessionI never really thought about my lack of sexual interest before society confronted me with it.
It took me quite a while to notice guys as anything more than "other people", and when I did, it was more a group pressure thing than real interest.
I even had a boyfriend then, but not because I particularly liked the guy. Having a boyfriend in your teens is a status symbol. Have one, you're cool, have none, you're not.
Of course, back then things weren't that clear to me. I went with the flow.
For a very long time, I wondered what is wrong with me that I don't enjoy sex, that It makes me feel awkward and that I have no desire to go out and date. Society made me believe it is wrong to be like that. I was ashamed of myself, of my flaws and my obvious failure of being a full-fledged human being.
You define yourself through others. You try to figure out who you are, and you look at others for guidance, for something you can identify with. But you only limit yourself with that, and not finding si
seems like a bluri wish that people were more transparent.
we're all skin and bones and most of the things that keep us awake and that break our bones is so internalized
and completely invisible. cause most of the time living kind of feels like i've spent countless hours spinning around in circles, and now i'm just trying to keep my stomach from rising, or my eyes from leaking every last liquid i have inside me while the world rushes so inconceivably fast.
i know that i can heal.
skin grows over deep wounds, and even the whitest mountainous scar tissue fades. but i dont know if the external matches the inside. the cuts have healed and the bruises are starting to disappear, but i dont know how your head is feeling. you might not have the black and blue lining your skin anymore, but your insides might still be threatening to drown you, or make you wish you could just stop existing for a little while. you dont know whats happening underneath blemish free skin.
people aren't clocks.
you cant se
Snuff Out My Little FlameIn the truest sense, I am much like a flame in so many different ways.
Can I count them, the reasons, off on my hands? Yes, perhaps on one, but it's still more than just comparing myself and leaving you, the unfortunate reader cursed with this unfortunate piece, hanging, no?
Burning bright with the potential of whatever it desires, providing hope for those around it; lighting the paths of worse-off, guiding them through their dark-riddled misery. Unwavering in the presence of the comforting and warm light, unwavering in the presence of the cruel and cold darkness-- something to admire for a beauty simply indescribable if one were to ask.
Ah, but with such qualities-- such a surface-- requires other, far more disgusting ones, right?
This light that burns so brightly, this flame that you think is there to protect and guide, why, I am not there for that at all-- I just happen to be in the right place at the right time. Problems of my own plague me so, and, upon my hours of need, t
BlinkBlink and suddenly you're 5 years old and you're running and jumping and exploring and you've skinned your knees and crying to mommy to kiss it and make it better because mommy's kisses make everything better
Blink and suddenly and suddenly you're 13 and gangly and awkward. You have breasts and all this extra weight that you don't know what to do with. They tell you you're a woman now but you don't feel any different
Blink and suddenly you're 17 and angry and rebellious and you cant understand why the world doesn't just understand you. You're screaming at mommy because she wont let you see the boy that she knows is going to break your heart. When he finally does, mommy tries to kiss it and make it better, but she cant heal you when you no longer believe you're worthy of love
Blink and suddenly you're 25 and you're stuck in a dead end job in a dead end town. You have a degree but you don't know what to do with it. You have a life or do you? Everyone keeps pushing you to look for Mr. Rig
A little message of hopeIf you feel like dying
Please don't believe what they say,
You have a right to live,
You have a right to stay.
I don't care what you believe in,
I don't care where you're from,
Just as long as you know what feelings are,
As long as you're beautiful,
Beautiful meaning that you can love.
All that matters is that you're human,
All that matters is that you have a heart.
Your life is not worth it only if you are a bad person,
But you're not a bad person,
There will always be people who will hate you
For whatever reason,
Whether it be reasonable or not,
But no matter what they say,
There are people out there who love you for you.
Out there there are millions willing to show you
Just how much they care,
Even though they might not have met you.
You don't have to have perfect teeth,
You don't need this hour-glass shape that society wants you to have,
You don't need to be a specific gender,
And hey, it's okay if you pull at your hair,
We all want to do that in some points of life
Dealing with Awkward Questions
Awkward Questions and How I Answer or Avoid Them
What is bigender?
Bigender, bi-gender or bi+gender describes a tendency to move between feminine and masculine gender-typed behavior depending on context. Some bi-gendered individuals express a distinctly "female" persona and a distinctly "male" persona, feminine and masculine respectively; others have shades of grey between the two. It is recognized by the American Psychological Association (APA) as a subset of the transgender group.
Are you a persona?
I am Melian!
Are you an OC?
I am Melian. I am very original and I do have a lot of character, thank you!
How old are you?
None of your beeswax bucko. Sheesh.
Are you a man or a woman (boy or a girl)?
No what I mean is, what gender/sex were you born as?
OH look a butterfly! Hey, what's your favorite color? Mine is purple. I like Skittles, do you like Sk
You have no idea
What I'm keeping to myself
I don't like you
Leave me alone
You would not
Last a day
In my mind
In my corruption
Your ignorance blinds you
Your venom destroys you
From the inside out
I don't want it
I don't need it
I have my own
And that's enough
Go to hell
I'll be waiting for you
You don't know
I do neither
Leave me alone
Or I'll make you regret
Anything you've done
In your blinding
You will REGRET
You will be GONE
I will DESTROY you
I will CORRUPT you
I will END YOU
IF YOU DO NOT GET
OUT OF MY WAY.
I'm not okay, i promiseAre you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine
Sure, you can't see it on my face, but I'm alright for today
Just because I don't hurt myself physically
Doesn't mean I'm less...
Hurt? Confused? Lost? Broken?
Really, stop worrying about me
I just don't know what.
'Out of the way and you kept to yourself.' Invisible Kid; Metallica
How Can I tell my heart that I'm done caring for you, when it continues to beat evermore?
I tell myself that it cannot be, after all that I have come to see. My head says I'm done, but my heart says to continue my stride towards your embrace. I miss your tender, sweet embrace, even though it wasn't worth the pain. When I think about you, my heart still flutters and my stomach gets uneasy. Everytime I think of you, I try to shut it out, and put in the back my mind, but it continues to struggle like a sailor struggling against the powerful waves of the sea seeking to crush all in their path. I hate feeling so vulnerable to even the thought of you. What can be done?
Keep in Touch!
A two-time Community Volunteer for the deviantART Related category, Anne is well-known as a positive, helpful force. She is the community's resident expert when it comes to CSS (Cascading Style Sheets), and her personal gallery offers a wide variety of tutorials for new and experienced coders alike. In addition, each winter she hosts a calendar project encouraging members to create Journal designs for all to use, bringing more creativity to the community.
It is with immense gratitude that we acknowledge Anne as the recipient of the Deviousness Award for October 2014. Read More